Love Conditioned

Adventurers, treasure hunters and documentary film-crews have, for decades, searched for the Holy Grail. Nobody really knows if it exists, yet the Grail is given this mysterious be all – end all status that will change the course of mankind. If there really is a holy grail though, it should be “Unconditional Love”. Consider that for a second – don’t we all like to think of ourselves as someone capable of this feat. Don’t we all want to believe that our partners feel loved unconditionally, as do you by them? There are many conditions that determine ‘unconditional love’: it should be easy, absolute, irrespective of situation or circumstance, self-sacrificing and without boundaries. But, do we ever achieve it?

Right from the outset, we exchange vows, committing ourselves to one another through all the good and bad. “In sickness and health…etc”. These vows are designed to suggest that no matter what, we remain in love, and stay married – unconditionally – cupid’s holy grail. In truth though, this is a realistic world, and while we may believe we love our partners unconditionally, we are sadly influenced by actions and reactions. And, ironically, in striving for this state of Shakespearean commitment, we inadvertently put conditions on our love, with such things as expectations. Expectations of fidelity, honesty, loyalty, religion, interests – many acceptable things that we need between us to stay in love – conditions.

At All Out Adventures we see unconditional love every day. Wives sitting around the coffee deck, eyes on kids, while their husbands and mates disappear for hours on their trail bikes. Husbands lovingly nudging their wives off the 30m platform as they hesitate to zip or swing – the scream that follows, an announcement to the world of their unconditional love!

Let’s not be too harsh on ourselves though. We know what we mean by unconditional love and if we take the definition with a pinch of salt, we can agree that accepting one another as we are; ‘warts and all’ then we love that person unconditionally. So maybe, lets accept that it is unconditionally dependent on a set of personalised conditions That way, it exists. 😊

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